A Personal Take on Grieving…
… seasonality in life situations
Life is made of a train of seasons… Our life situations continuously change and so do we. Who we were a day ago is not who we are in the present Now. Sadly who we had in our lives 10 years ago, the love of our life, the soulmate, may no longer be… However, I do often wonder whether as one goes through life, does one change or rather is it the way one reacts to different situations that changes?
In the Northern Hemisphere, seasons transform from very cold Januarys to hot Augusts and it rains a lot in Northwest Europe. In many other parts of the world, summer lingers with everlasting humidity. Yet our reactions to these may be different. Most would relish the changing weathers, others would not. All in all, we can choose to just let things be, accept change and go with a flow, or fight against, complain and over react.
Seasonal viruses always pop up while pandemics are rarer. In regards to the latter, I feel that our initial awe and fear have become mitigated as we evolve with whatever situation we live through. Losing a closed loved one, in close series, losing a father, a husband, a mother, a wife, a child… The initial shock, the rippling pain, the deafening loneliness left by the departed slowly becomes you…But does it need to be so? Do we need to be associated with loss and pain, or rather be in a state of observation and awareness?
Perhaps our life situations are seasonal too. But I do believe that our reactions to these evolve as WE evolve. Our initial huge blow and the feeling of living with a boulder of pain over us, become gently mitigated with time, the sadness remains but we learn to grow with the it. The pain eventually no longer becomes us but evolves with us. We forever carry our loved ones within inner depths. So does our everlasting grieving, which morphs in different ways and levels.
Surely there is no hierarchy in grieving as we witness the whole world in mourning. Mourning for a loved one in pain or grieving for our past normal lives perhaps do not carry the same impact as grieving for departed lost souls, but it is STILL grieving, nonetheless. Grieving should not be belittled, we each carry it in our own personal way.
I would simply ask you my dear readers, to be in a state of observation rather than a state of reaction. Finding your inner peace during grieving is painful; gently and patiently accept it. There is no perfect way to grieve, and certainly no formula to mourning. Expressing, vocalising and finding the inner voice can help. Talking to wise souls, letting it all out, crying, shouting, but above all being gentle with yourself. But above all, giving yourself time in quiet stillness, finding yourself and extricating yourself from the chaos.
Life is a series of seasons and a train of seasonal sunshine and rain, transforming from green to gold. Our journeys are ours alone to make and just as Ringo sang «I get by with a little help from my friends».
Wish you all long, blessed and happy lives.
